On being a woman…a black woman.

Hey Girlfriends,

Megan Thee Stallion aka Hot Girl Meg has done it again for all the hotties and everybody else out there who NEEDS to hear this word. I love how she’s using her platform to let people know what it’s really like to be a woman of color. Her New York Times opinion piece is making it’s rounds on social media and this piece is straight fire y’all!

It starts off with a bold, yet simply stated question: “What does it mean to be a woman of color?” While the question may be simple, the answer is complex and deep. Our hot girl-friend goes down the list of many things we’ve all referred to ourselves as before, but she really gives a quick glimpse into why being a “woman of color” is so intricate and beautiful at the same damn time.

The Answers:

“Strong because that’s the expectation. Loving herself, but not too much cause then she’s conceited. Being told she’s too much, but not enough. Left out on the streets, but is the rose that grew from concrete.” She then goes on to explain how we do everything for everyone else, but when it comes down to us “IT AIN’T A MUTHA FUCKA IN SIGHT!”

Whew chile…that last line sent me runnin’ round the church for a few laps. She betta preach it loud for the people in the balcony annnddd the overflow rooms! Sista Meg hit the nail on the head for me. She infused beautiful images of women while also letting the people know that it’s hard AF to be a black woman.

Imma tell y’all now, I didn’t realize how hard it was to be a black women until I moved out of my comfort zone and into the concrete jungle of Brooklyn, NY. Yes, BK has lots of black people, especially in Bed-Stuy, but you start to really see how people look at you and what they think of you when you’re in a new environment and out of your comfort zone. If you really know me, then you know that didn’t bother me. Like Meg, I too am going to always be my unapologetic self in any space. I won’t mute my personality or my positive vibes only motif for anyone…Periodt!

But let’s really unpack some of what Meg is saying here…starting with this one:”strong because that’s the expectation” This one hit hard, because I’ve seen my momma, aunties, cousins, and friends endure some tough things but be so strong through it all. Why do we always have to be the strong ones? I’ve been here many times. I deal with whatever the issue is in the moment, pull up my big girl panties, and get to solving the problem the way I’ve watched so many black women do before. I personally don’t think it’s anything wrong with being the strong black woman, but we also have to give ourselves space and time to grieve when we need to, take a break when we need to, and most importantly reach out for help when we need to. Girlfriends, not one person is going to look down upon you for taking the time you need…just do it sis!

On to the next one “Being told she’s too much, but not enough.” This one made me think about all of the work spaces and places I’ve been in, even the ones lead by black women. You’re appreciated for solving problems and making everyone feel safe and protected, but you’re never enough to get that promotion or trusted to lead the team using your own intellect and instincts. You always have to follow the script and do what you’re told. This one here, burns me up inside and is quite frankly what keeps me from moving into leadership roles. I have superb ideas and have even been a model for others, but not letting me lead the way I see fit is a slap in the face and a waste of my good energy. Girlfriends, we have to start speaking up for ourselves too and when they won’t let us do what we know needs to be done we have to be courageous enough to walk away from it and create our own lane. I think Meg has done and is actively fighting to keep doing just that. I support you girlfriend!

At the end of the day, Meg is young and growing in her womanhood. We’ve all been there girlfriends. She’s making memories, mistakes, and learning from them with every experience she has. I’m happy that she has a platform to share her growth and that she’s showing young girls a different side of “real hot girl $h*t.” This is the side that our young girlfriends need to see, take note of, and learn from. I hope that they’re watching and growing alongside their big sista Meg.

Now, let’s talk about it! How did our girlfriend Meg’s message resonate with you? Can you relate? Do you get it? Do you have questions? Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

XOXO,

Dom